We are through the woods. Eleanor's white blood cells haven't just rebounded, they have skyrocketed (as they tend to do because she is so amazing)! I love my baby girl. She's got some kick ass bone marrow that is almost as resilient as she is! Another plus - her blood pressure is within normal range... This is a very strange occurrence that no one can quite figure out. Hers has always been on the high side, even with medication. It came down, so they held off on the medication, and three days later, it's still down. Amazing. Hopefully it will stay down and we will have one less med and one less worry!
Resting comfortably
We've had an interesting weekend. It's been very busy on the ward with every bed filled and nurses calling in sick. Everyone is tense. Eleanor had a rough night on Friday, and I was up til 1am battling her NG tube. It clogged and when they inserted a new one, it clogged again. They finally got one to work and we both passed out. She woke up at 4am to be sick, and I called the nurse to help me change the sheets. I rang the bell and no one came. I rang it again and the charge nurse came in. She had a no-nonsense approach to the situation and Eleanor was changed and back in bed in no time. Our nurse came in shortly afterwards and noted a glazed look in Eleanor's eyes. She asked the resident to come in and take a look, to which the charge nurse replied "She's breathing, she's fine. Katie (the resident) has more important things to deal with." It was pretty tense, and when I went out into the hallway a few minutes later, there was a crew of doctors and nurses gathered around room 14. A new admission, it seemed.
The next morning, I walked by room 14 and all the blinds were drawn and there was a note on the door saying "Rest needed. Please check in at the nurses station". Not a big deal, but there was something unsettling about it. There were lots of stressed out people in the playroom and the parent's lounge. Later that afternoon, Kris was chatting to our nurse about the new family in room 14 and how he wanted to introduce himself. Our nurse nixed the idea as the patient in that room had passed away that morning. She told us it wasn't an oncology patient and it was expected. And that was all. Someone died two doors down from us. There was a dead body with a grieving family in the room down the hall. I didn't leave the room yesterday.
Death is the only thing certain in life. Hospitals are often where death occurs. I know this, and yet, I feel safe from death in 3B. Kids die in ICU. Kids die in surgery. Kids die at Canuck Place when no other treatment is available. Kids don't die two doors down from where I live. But that's what happened. I don't feel safe. I know Eleanor is far from death right now, even if her prognosis gets worse. She's not going to die tomorrow, or next week, or even next month. So why is she two doors down from someone who died?
I managed to coerce Kris into staying with me til late last night. He went to get water from the kitchen around 10pm and ran into another dad. They started chatting about the events of the day and then froze when they heard music coming from the playroom. It was a toy that Eleanor loves - a little piano that plays three different classical music songs when you press the keys. It also has a rattle and is small enough for her little hands. They heard it play two songs and then went into the empty, dark playroom to find it. The second they walked in, it stopped. No one was in there. Kris's arms prickled with goosebumps and the other dad just smiled, "It's not the first time" he said nonchalantly. I didn't sleep much last night.
I ain't afraid of no ghost...
The logical explanation is that the toys shifted in the toy box and that was enough force to make it play, but it all feels a bit weird. I hope the family that lost their child yesterday are at peace. I suspect they are as the world feels much calmer, much quieter today. I said a little prayer for them as I watched my daughter "puppy-dog" sleep last night. She twitched like she was chasing bunnies, but was still peaceful. I am thankful for the peace. But I will never, ever let them put us in room 14.
Ever.
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