I Heart Cortef

So things have been really great lately. She has been on Cortef for the past month, and it has made a world of difference. Little bear is full of energy and is happy. She is eating a wide variety of foods. She is packing on some weight and has outgrown her 12 month sleepers, finally. We are booked to see endocrine next Friday and I am excited to see how much she has grown.

Eating plums like a big girl!

No more pre-masticated food for you.

I don't want to eat my food.

I want YOURS!

The fall means all her playgroups have started up again, and we are keeping our days busy in hopes of sleep-filled nights. Sleep still is a challenge. Girlfriend thinks that 4am, 3:30am, 2:30am... yeah, she thinks those are appropriate times to start her day. I keep thinking if we transition her to one nap that this problem will be solved, but she's so tired by 8am, it's almost impossible. Kris and I are tweaking a few things and trading night-duty in hopes that we can all get a little more sleep!

To say she is adventurous is probably the biggest understatement. Her confidence is growing by the second and she is becoming fearless with her gross motor skills. She is still rocking her army crawl, but she gets her knees up underneath her and has a great waggle in her hips. This new little swagger means that when the mood takes her, she moves really quickly. We came home from walking the dog the other day and were preparing to head out to pick Kris up from work. I put the baby in the living room while I ran the dog into the crate. In my haste, I forgot to close the front door.

Yeah. She's a monkey. She won't stay still for anything anymore. Diaper changes were starting to become a challenge because she can flip over so quickly! I am very proud to say that I used my university education to combat the problem. My BFA is finally paying off! I channel my best Liza Minnelli and sing "I Gotcha!" from Liza with a Z, complete with hair flips and head rolls. Eleanor loves it, and let's be honest, so do I! In case you DO NOT have a BFA and are NOT familiar with the song or choreography by the legendary Bob Fosse, permit me to educate you.

She's also started expressing herself. We are getting some hints of temper tantrums and willfulness. Up until now, we really haven't had major issues with behaviour. I think she has spent most of her life feeling so crummy, she hasn't had the energy to fight us. Now that she is feeling good, it is time to catch up on all those terrible twos!

She decided she didn't want me taking photos of her the other day...

Even though the lighting was really good and she looked really cute and she was covered in the remains of a granola bar...

Her little lips quivered and started to fall...

And the waterworks started. PUT THE CAMERA AWAY AND CONSOLE ME!!!!

But speaking of expressing herself, we are working on a few words. She is babbling a lot and has some fun sounds that COULD be words if you turn your head the right way and the stars align and the SE wind is blowing at 15km/hr... Seriously though, she has added "ha(t)" to her vocab, which is very promising. She still has "hi" and she has also learned the baby sign for "dog", and that is a new favourite. The baby sign is way more fun than the ASL sign. You just pant. She loves Atia so much that she basically spends all her time panting. Or climbing on her. That's always fun. It's so great to get some communication going, though. I'm really excited to see how it comes along in the coming months.

And further proof that cortef is the best thing that has happened to our family, Eleanor has a little cold this week, but she hasn't slowed down at all. She's a total snot factory and she is a little cranky, but we are doing our damnedest to avoid a hospital stay and so far, so good! I feel like all our prayers have been answered. We are so blessed to be in this place of good-ish health. Long may it last!

Back To School

Well, not really for us, but it's that time of year. It's a lovely time of year. I find myself speeding through school zones only to realize, "oh shnikes! I can't do that anymore!" and I curse myself repeatedly to slow down, slow down, slow down. It's easy to spot a school zone early in the morning or at 3pm, not so much around 11am!

There must have been a hundred schools between the pool and my house as I cruised home this afternoon, going 30km/hr regardless of school zone or not. I sat at the crosswalk by Willows and watched the new crossing guard chat with a couple of mums and their offspring as they safely crossed the road. One kid was getting a piggyback ride, one was on a scooter. They were ambling, in no real rush to get anywhere, enjoying each others stories from the day. I smiled when they looked in my direction, as tears flooded my face and sobs choked in my throat. It's so simple - this school-run business. It's the most basic thing to do; everyday the kids get picked up from school. Some go by car, some on bikes with their impossibly small helmets protecting their precious brains, some on scooters, some on foot. Some have parents pick them up, others go with babysitters, friends, grandparents. But it's the same ritual for nearly everyone and it's the same experience that everyone has - let's get from point A to point B and share something about our day. It makes me weak in the knees to be able to witness something so simple, so universal... I see these families, and all I think is "me too!"

I want what you're having.

Today I am thinking a lot about our friends who are at SickKids in Toronto. Lina's big sister Frieda was supposed to start kindergarten today, but because of Lina's surgery, she's had to skip it for a little bit. Lina's surgery was hugely successful; they were able to remove 95% of that stupid tumour and she's not paralyzed! Not even close! So I think Frieda is happiest to spend this time with her doting parents and her baby sister rather than in the schoolyard. Bless them all. And there's plenty of time for school-runs when they get back to Squamish (hopefully soon!).

This time last year...

just babies...

fighting cancer... 

No big deal. Hurry home, Lina!

My brother was married over the weekend. They had a very intimate service with just family and it was officiated by a dear family friend, Joe*, who also did our wedding. I spent a good deal of time chatting with his wife, Jill*. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months back and had surgery to get the tumour removed. I understood that that was all the treatment that was needed; she had caught it early enough and everything was fine. She revealed to me that, no, chemo and radiation were elective and she has chosen to go ahead with these nasty (but effective) options. She had her first chemo this morning and I can't stop thinking about her. Chemo sucks. It knocks the snot out of you, and it affects everyone differently. It's a long road and no one fully understands what you're going through unless they have done it themselves. I wish I could offer more words of support or encouragement. I wish I had some magic thing to say that puts it all in perspective, but I don't. I met a new cancer mum briefly when we were leaving 3B in Vancouver. She held the door open for us as we flounced out, beaming with pride at how wonderful our daughter was and how much everyone loved her. The woman asked us, "are you going home?" to which we babbled on about how we were just visiting and we had been there, but we weren't there anymore...and she just stared at us, like we weren't even real. I glanced down at her daughter who was hooked up to an IV pole via her arm and I asked how long they had been there. "Since last night". My heart broke. Her five year old daughter had leukemia and they were waiting to find out if it was ALL (very treatable, high success rate) or AML (baby killer). Again, I tried to muster some words of encouragement. I told them they were in the best place, that the staff were unbelievable and they would both be looked after really well. I searched my brain for what I would have liked when I was first waking up in hospital, so I hugged her. I'm not one for hugging strangers, but it was all I could offer, from one mother to another. I whispered "it's going to get worse, but it will get better. Eventually". So Jill*, if you are reading this, it will be the worst, but it does get better. Eventually.

Andrew and Allie's wedding was lovely. The weather cooperated for the most part and a good time was had by all - especially little Eleanor, who partied til 8:45! Kris and I were shocked. Normally she craps out around 6 at these kinds of things, but she sat up at the table and happily munched her cousin's garlic bread while the speeches went on. She was doted on by everyone, which probably helped keep her content. Girlfriend loves being the centre of attention! I'll sign off here with a couple of photos from the evening. It was a lovely way to say "Adios" to a pretty long, hospital-filled summer! Happy Autumn everyone!

*names have been changed to protect privacy

Bizarro Eleanor

We had the strangest experience yesterday. We went to the beach and Eleanor had fun. She refused to wear her hat and she played. She didn't bury her head in my shoulder and look miserable, she giggled! She ate sandy Goldfish crackers and squealed in delight! She even crawled around a bit! It was the strangest thing. She seems to be...happy. I don't even know who this child is. She's had brief periods of happiness before, but girlfriend has been consistently happy since we got home last week. It's amazing.

We are hoping this happiness continues over the weekend for my big brother's wedding. They are having a quiet, at-home service, so hopefully Eleanor will be on her best behavior. With only 20 people in attendance, it will be really hard to shift the blame! I've been having a mini-fashion show all week trying to determine what is the cutest possible dress. I even bought her clips for her hair(!), but those have been strongly vetoed by her lady ship. It doesn't really matter what she wears, I know, but I stumbled across some photos from her birthday and Christmas and wow-wee. Those are some rough photos. Alabaster white with no eyelashes or eyebrows and big circles around her eyes. Poor little bear. It doesn't seem that long ago, but she is SO FAR from that sick little girl. Even with all her hiccups and health scares, she is still not as sick as that chemo baby. So I like to dress her up and take smiley photos of her when she is looking and feeling good. It's like if I keep filling my phone/camera with good photos, it will erase all the bad. And this weekend's nuptials will be the perfect venue for sweet photos. Facebook, you have been warned!

Here's a little preview. This is her happy place - half standing, half lying down. Perfect.