Written September 15, 2012
Well, I'm out. Out of the marathon, that is. After two weeks of intense nausea and fatigue that was preceded by two weeks of hospital nonsense, I am officially throwing in the towel. I am sure I could of physically if I really committed, but mentally I am a million miles from being able to cover the distance. It's too much for me. Someone else might be able to, but not me. Not this time. I am slowly accepting this. I am embracing my growing belly and super sore boobs and moving forward.
We've finally sorted out the genetics conundrum, which was not easy. I spent a lot of time quietly mulling it over and Kris didn't. He didn't want to think about it all, God love him. I feel very blessed to have a partner that I truly understand, even if we don't do things they same way, or see eye-to-eye all the time. So I helped him work through it and we have come to a decision together that we can both live with. There is no question that we are keeping this baby. I am staunchly pro-choice, but it doesn't make sense to us that we would terminate a life when we have fought do hard to save another. We are keeping this little nugget, no matter what the future holds for him/her. If s/he turns out to have Li Fraumeni, we will deal with it the same way we have dealt with this. If s/he turns out to have some other condition, then we will deal with it and love him/her with all our might.
We are growing our hearts by growing our family. I feel like I might burst. And I love it.
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