And so on and so on...

Ahhhh home. A glass of wine, an ocean breeze from an open window and a baby sleeping soundly in the next room.

I can hardly move, I am so tired. I shouldn't be this tired; Granny was an absolute STAR in Vancouver and kept working tirelessly to keep both me and Eleanor happy. I did this trip (with even MORE tests) on my own back in February, so how can I be that tired? I don't have an answer. I'm just exhausted and this exhaustion is clouding all my feelings.

Eleanor had her CT and MRI scans today and the preliminary results were incredible. We were waiting for Dr Schultz (E's oncologist) to come back from radiology, and one of her old GPs walked by and gave us a big thumbs-up and said her scans were excellent. I was chatting with our dietician at the time and both her and my mum clamoured that this was great news! I couldn't even think about it. Dr Schultz waltzed in a few minutes later and before the door closed, he said the scans looked good. The radiologist said the two nodes are unchanged from last time. Oh great! Wait...what?!? Two nodes? Last time there were eleven! My facial expression was set to stunned so he pulled up the old report and reassured me that he would follow up with radiology to find out for sure what is going on. Either way, she is still stable, but there is an inkling, an eensy, weensy chance that she might be...better?!?!?!

I breathe in, I breathe out and I can't think of it again. Not now. Maybe later.

For now I think about how great it was to see all our old friends at BCCH. Poor Eleanor doesn't remember anyone/thing, so she was thrust into a lot of "strangers" arms. I chided her along with encouraging comments, "you LIKE this nurse/doctor/dietician/anasthecian/volunteer/chaplin/cleaninglady/starbucksemployee. They helped save your life!" It was met with varying degrees of success. I had a wonderful time catching up with all her old buddies. It's been a long, long time!

We also called in to see my brother in his new place. Eleanor was a little unsure of him at first, but quickly warmed up:

Why yes, it's a very good cracker.

Oh hey mummy!

Check out my tummy, uncle anj

Oh! You have one too!!!

Adorable. And wonderful. And yeah.