Easy like Sunday morning

She's not well; something is definitely off and I have no idea what it is. She has thrown up her mitotane repeatedly which she hasn't done since her chemo days. Her bowels have been quite loose, but I wouldn't call it full blown diarrhea. She is just off.

I woke up at 1:30am last night to the sound of her being sick. We changed the sheets and cleaned her up as best we could and attempted to settle her back down. She was agitated and irritated and pulled her NG tube loose. She hasn't done this in MONTHS, and I thought I could get it back in. I failed. I made her throw it up. Shit. We immediately started to panic about her fluid levels. She was already low for the day and we had banked on the overnight feed to catch her up. I phoned the hospital to voice my concerns. I told the pediatrician on the phone about her fever last weekend, her surgery and her subsequent difficulties. The pediatrician asked me "why did you take her central line out?", and I couldn't immediately respond. Maybe it was because it was 3am and I was covered in baby vomit, or maybe it was because I don't really know why we took it out. I looked at Eleanor - so naked without her NG tube and her line - and felt so helpless. She's got no immune system, no adrenal response, no vascular access and now no tube. "She's done chemotherapy?!?" I offered the doctor meekly. That was good enough for her. She assured me Eleanor wasn't in adrenal crisis and we should come in in the morning to replace her tube.

We did, and she's having a monster nap now. We are running fluids like mad trying to get her caught up. I hope it helps and she can kick this bug. I hope it doesn't escalate into something yucky. I really hope she feels better soon.

Here's my vulnerable, naked-faced baby this morning before we went into hospital. I know I am biased, but she might be, hands down, the best looking kid I've ever seen, in the whole wide world, ever. Again, I am a weeny bit biased. Just a little. Tiny bit.