A Thrill of Hope, The Weary World Rejoices

The news we have been waiting for for 18 long months has finally arrived. There is no evidence of disease in Eleanor. She is officially cancer-free!

I don't know what else to do, so I am writing.

I am spent. Every fibre in my being is exhausted. I want to be elsewhere. I want to be in the stratosphere, looking down on this crazy world. I want to drink more booze than I ever have, EVER, and find myself in a ditch in a city I've never been to before. I want to wrap myself in the deepest, darkest, bear-like winter hibernation.

And I'm so happy! I've received the best possible news that any cancer mum could every hear! My daughter has beat her dragon into submission! She has officially kicked cancer's ass! She is one of THOSE kids now!

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I am THRILLED, but I can't believe it.

Yup, definitely thrilled.

I think my desire for darkness stems from how bright her future suddenly is. Suddenly I can see how poor her diet is and the desperation to make her eat SOMETHING seems rotten. Suddenly I can see her trotting off to kindergarten. Suddenly I can see a world free of constant monitoring, constant medications. Suddenly her life looks LONG and FULL and so much more than I ever would have thought possible. It's heart-poundingly terrifying and wonderful.

I know her life will be hard. She could still relapse and her genetic condition means she will very likely face cancer again at some point. But that could be 100 years from now (Li Fraumeni is also linked to longevity), or never. She could just grow up normal.

Very intent on our game of "I Spy"

Opening birthday prezzies

We are blessed. We have been truly blessed to receive this news. I honestly believed we would never hear the words. But Eleanor continues to defy all the odds and rewrite textbooks and constantly prove everyone (including me!) wrong. She's a special little girl, that's for sure.

The baby awakes. I must pull myself out of my desire for sleep and rest and continue to parent my seemingly healthy toddler! And thank you for your kind words of support and for sharing in this joyous moment with us. The outpouring of love we have received via Eleanor's Facebook page and by phone, email and text is overwhelming. It is wonderful.